Tales from the Crypt #5 (1991)

A German soldier addled by his experiences in the trenches of WWI is recruited by a butcher in the following war to dispose of patrons in the cellar so that he has plenty of meat to sell.

Vic and Joe are biologists who work in the same lab. Longtime friends, they're both horrified when Joe trips and accidentally injects Vic with Black Plague. Vic goes for a walk, then stops by Joe's house to commiserate with him. But, Joe's not home, and when the phone rings, Vic answers. It's Joe, who wastes no time gloating that the "accident" was intentional, revenge for Vic always getting credit for discoveries. So, Vic tracks Joe down and kills him. Only then does he find the note explaining it was all just a joke meant to lighten the mood in the lab. It IS April 1st, after all.

Good-for-nothing Carl has a plan. He'll murder his twin sister, Cynthia, and her rich husband. Then, he'll take her place in disguise and inherit the whole estate. It's a good plan, and it looks like he'll pull it off. Right until he's seen casually strolling into the men's room at a restaurant.

A man who has just flown in into New York from Illinois ties up a man he suspects of being a vampire just before dawn and makes him lie in a coffin. When he doesn't fall asleep at dawn, he unties him, and the vampire leaps for his throat reminding him that Illinois is an hour behind New York and he forgot to reset his watch.

After his son is killed, a man gathers the suspects in his house. He claims to know who the killer is, and puts a plan in motion to get revenge. But, does he really know as much as he claims?

A servant of the owner of a silver mine fills his bath with piranha after the mine owner unknowningly works the servant's younger brother to death and shoots his parents who were attempting to extract revenge.

A woman commits suicide when her fiancee's younger brother gets drunk and rapes her. The older brother cuts his head off and uses it as the car ornament that the younger brother had asked him for.

An air freight business partner who used to man a bombsite during the war kills his partner by dropping him out of the plane directly where four states meet, knowing he will go free as they squabble over the jurisdiction of the crime. The corpse comes back and gives him a taste of four different execution methods with the last one being final.

Norman King meets and begins wooing a beautiful married girl named Maria. But that doesn't phase Norman one bit, so, when he decides to kill her husband and marry her anyway, the husband tells Norman a strange but true story about Maria and why he shouldn't be involved with her.

Fitch, a purse thief, is on the run from several Policemen after muffing a job, and chances upon some kids playing around and taking turns shutting up people in an old ice box. He figures this is the way to avoid capture, so he makes a deal with one of the kids to pay him $5 for hiding him briefly in the ice box. He tears the bill in half.....gives the kid one half and promises him the rest when he re-opens the door for him. Unfortunately for Fitch, the Police scare the kids off, and..........!

A television show about guessing the guest's occupation brings on a manufacturer of red ink. As the panel asks more questions of the guest, they begin to grow annoyed with the host, as the answers seem to dance around the idea that the guest may be a vampire. The host assures the panel that the man has a legitimate occupation, but they feel the host has double-crossed them. The host is delighted he has stumped the panel and reveals to the guest what he's won, a coffin, which surprises the guest. The panel descend upon him and drain his blood, relieved that he's not one of them.

An art dealer murders a man in order to inspire three old sisters who create beautiful tapestries upon witnessing violent deaths of people. When he finds them not working, as they claim to be uninspired, he becomes frustrated with them and admits that he murdered the man before he sent his car smashing into the wall. Angry with him for tricking them, saying murder isn't fair......it has to be an accident, like when they pushed father under the train, and the next man into the path of a car, they dismember the art dealer and weave his body parts into a tapestry.

A sea captain murders a man for his wife by having him row out to a plague island where he contracts the disease. When he is rotting away they toss him overboard, but a whale swallows him and then vomits him up. The captain knows the spew is valuable for perfume so he collects it and presents it to the murdered man's wife where she dons it in the bathroom and opens the door to reveal her instantaneously rotting flesh.

A man kills an old man for 30 thirty gold coins and thinks that there must be more to the treasure when he finds a treasure map locating a spot just offshore under water. The old man claimed he had been 'prepared' for him and when he visits the location marked underwater he realizes the old man was right as it is a grave marker with his name on it that falls over on his diving suit keeping him pinned until he drowns.

A woman who uses men to stay surrounded by the finer things in life finally hears what she wants to hear "I want you for my wife." In this case, her intended sucker literally wants her for a meal to his undead blood-sucker wife.

An executioner during the Terror, who takes money from a relative in order to guillotine his brother, finds he has a difficult time in getting rid of the head. Eventually he becomes frustrated with his efforts to dispose of the ever-returning head and picks up a cleaver and minces it. That evening, he receives a visit from the corpse who wants its head back, and finding that not possible, rips the head from the executioner's shoulders to use in its place.

A man and a rat from a ship wreck wash up on an island and eye each other warily as the only food source available.

A man assumes that the body of the governor of the penal colony he is a prisoner in will be sent back to Paris, so he kills him with a poisoned dart from a blowgun and makes plans to switch places with his body in the casket. They nail him in and bury him at sea.

A maniac ax-murderer assumes his victim's identity in his dreams until he is compelled to return to the scene of the crime to murder the victim's wife as well.

An old millionaire falls in love with a young woman but he doesn't want her to marry him for his money so he tells her he's poor. She puts him off telling him his face is too old-looking and he still has an old-man's body so he gets a doctor to do an expensive face and torso transplant, but she still isn't satisfied because of his legs. He spends the last of his fortune to swap out his legs and she marries the man he has swapped body parts with because she only wanted to marry a millionaire.

The mayor of a small town vows revenge upon a werewolf that kills his wife. On the night of the next full moon, he and his posse encounter a woman they suspect may be the culprit, so he returns to his library to check on the signs of a werewolf in human form. When he enters the darkened room, he sees the werewolf's snarling face looming in front of him, and shoots several times. When the posse enters, are they in for a surprise!

The blind victims of an unscrupulous and cruel director lock him and his dog up for several days without food and then release them into a maze with razor blades embedded into the walls. And then turn out the lights.

A woman and her parents move in with a man they nag constantly to get ahead in the world because he can't afford their demands for gadgets. Eventually the nagging pushes him over the edge and returns from the kitchen brandishing the meat cleaver. He giggles to the arresting officers "I not only got ahead, I got three heads." as they look over the three severed heads on silver platters in the dining room.

A man is murdered by a creature made out of old rags in retaliation for killing the woman who was kind to the rag creature.